Pulling the Weeds

shortly after i found some light
from my decade long depression
that helped foster an addiction
after some severe back pain
 i was swept up into a life of purpose
once again i was excited about life
but i still knew i had a long time
to go to fully forgive myself
and figure out lingering issues
but i was motivated and excited
a renewed focus for a new life

at this time i was feeling thankful
probably for the first time in my life
i was laid off from work
and it was summer
in our backyard behind our garage
was an empty area of land
where nothing grew because
of overpowering pine trees overhead
a little out of boredom
and being alone days in a row

i began clearing that land
granted its only maybe 25 by 25
each day i was outside
raking digging weeds and sawing
as i was doing this
the noise and clutter
flying through my head
began to settle
and i began to experience
moments of clarity
at some point i began
thinking of this area
i was beautifying
as becoming a sacrafice
an offering a gift to god
for leading me to this point
so thats how i began approaching this
this daily work was my way
of saying thank you
i added hostas and other plants
edgng and endless pulling of weeds
and as this happened
i began noticing when my mind
was focused and in a good place
the garden area was spotless
when i was losing focus
debris and weeds
so i began to see my yard
as my emotional barometer
and i still do today